"drink up baby stay up all night with the things you could do you wont but you might the potential you'll be that you'll never see the promises you'll only make drink up with me now forget all about the pressure of days do what i say and i'll make you ok and drive them away the images stuck in your head people youve been before that you dont want around anymore they push and shove and wont bend to your will i'll keep them still."
for the last 5 days cooper has been here. i didnt know how i felt. i still dont but when i left him at the airport i could help but start sobbing. it killed me. i didnt have the time to decide. i didnt have the time to learn to love again. we had fun. we had a lot of fun and its going to be hard to wake up tomorrow morning and not have him there. its going to be weird to not have there to hold me and kiss me and smother me in his love. i dont know what to do right now.
i want mady. i need to get out of here. i need one of her hugs. and he shoulder to cry on. i really didnt think it was going to be this hard to let him go home. i thought it was going to be easy but since whn is anyting easy? i dont know. i dont know i dont know i dont know.
i need a smoke...