so here we go.

i feel like its been a million years since i posted.
tyler and i are happy.
he is adorable i am adorable and we are adorable together.
we couldnt have picked a better time.

starting last friday i started feeling really weird.
headaches, my eyes wouldnt focus, nausea.
i just htought i was still getting over being sick.
well sunday night it kept getting worse so we took bobby to the airport after his 5 day stay with us [which was amazing to say the least]
and my mom, mady, tyler and i went to the instacare in riverton.
they took one look at me and told me i should go to the emergency room over at primary childrens hospital.
fanfuckingtastic.
we took mady home cause she had to be at school the next day
but tyler told me he would stay with me.
so we made our way up to the U and went in.
i spent hours in the trauma department.
fucking poking me proding me with needles and patches andfinger monitor things that make you want to pretend you are ET. or that you can just use to smack tyler in the head with when your nurses arent looking.
so doctor after doctor after doctor.
they take me in give me an MRI.
i have abnormal swelling in my brain/brain stem.
it was triggered by my whatever it was i had a few weeks before.
its the first sign kinda thing for a disease called MS or multiple sclerosis.
which is :Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a potentially debilitating disease in which your body's immune system eats away at the protective sheath that covers your nerves. This interferes with the communication between your brain and the rest of your body. Ultimately, this may result in deterioration of the nerves themselves, a process that's not reversible.

so yeah. meet hilary the neurologic mess lol. im just kidding. its not that bad. and it may as well never get that bad. they dont know. but that night they gave me a spinal tap. and that was the worst thing they could ever do to me. i HATE needles. hate hate hate hate hate needles. it was a huge needle that they stick into your spine. gawdddd. it was horrible. but there tyler was and my brother aaron and his girlfriend jess and my mom all holding my hand while the doctors made me chemically drunk. fantastic.
that night i spent in the hospital. it wasnt half bad. they let me go the next day and told me to come bak the day after for more treatment and so on and so forth. high doses of steroids. lortab. all kinda of other stuff. and now i take it at home. which still sucks. but there has only been one day since then that i havent seen tyler. that boy is amazing. he's taking care of me and i need that.

cooper hasnt been there at all. he thought i was lying when i said i was in the hospital. and now he is trying to convince me that our lives are better seperate. maybe they are. but jordan ryuichi william cooper is the one boy i realy wanted to spend my life with. hell im 16 though. what do i know. i just wish he could have been there when i was lying in that hospital bed in pain. im just one lucky SOB that i had tyler there. i dont know what i would have done without him. i think everything would have been a lot worse.

i need to sleep. maybe ill post more tomorrow. idk yet depends on how i feel.
i love you. one and all